There are Days

Some days I don't want to be a "public intellectual." (That's what I will supposedly be by the end of my Freedom Riders class).

I don't want to spend $300 dollars on books for myself.

I don't want to read about injustice, hurt and pain.

Days I don't even want to read about the solution.

Some days I just want to be a part of it.

I want to be scrubbing mold from bathrooms.

Hugging parentless kids.

Praying through my days per the persistent reminder that ultimately, I have nowhere else to turn.

I am so blessed to be here and it is a privilege I do not resent, getting a college degree in a subject I really like. I do enjoy giving it the "old college try." But who are these teachers kidding? Wisdom and knowledge isn't just in me, waiting to be realized. I don't have answers to even the most worthwhile questions to ask. I don't even like pretending that I do.

There are days it is tiring to talk myself out of the basic premise my teachers put forth. Days when I crave being surrounded by leaders whose faith, not just intellect, I admire.

Many days here seem very far from there.

(the pictures are Brians @ http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brian-K-Gray-Photography/268089692141)