(no I will not cite my source, I did entirely too much of that here)
On Wednesday night (when I masqueraded around like a member of the "Yates" family and as 180 middle school leader), Maddie (whom I convinced I was cool because I spelt her name the french way on her name tag: Made with an accent on the "e") kept giving me a hard time for proclaiming everything "beautiful."
Everything from someone's name to their hoodie (who doesn't love hoodie weather?!) to their court moves-- I had no problem expressing my affection.
She also said, "I wish I had a penny for every time you 'liked' something." And, having seen The Social Network for two nights in a row, I told her that Mark Zuckerberg did have a penny for every time somebody 'liked' something and then she looked at me like I'm crazy and now I'm hooked on Middle School 180.
Those kids are beautiful and their hearts are hungry. Most just want to be "cool" but no so much yet that they're afraid of acting CRAZY, which is one characteristic you just have to embrace about them. What's sad to me is that they're trying trying trying to be cool and few have any clue that they already are. What's ironic is that the kids who think they've attained the coveted moniker are actually the least fun of them all. I sit in a room discussing temptation with these girls and can't help but think "if you only knew." As Maddie makes fun of how quick I am with the word "beautiful", I wish I used it a little more carefully so that when I tell them they are beautiful girls, they'd hear the depth of my conviction and not just some slang.
They don't see themselves the way I see them. How could they? But if they could just listen, just get to know about me, trust me when I warn them of their instinct to chase chase chase "cool, rich, sexy, funny, hot, best, etc."
The thing about kids and the not-kids-for-much-longers is that the more time you spend with them, the more you'll see yourself in them. No matter your age. And, for me at least, the more you'll understand about God.
We don't see ourselves the way He sees us. How could we? But if we could just listen, get to know Him, trust Him when he wards us of our instinct to chase chase chase "cool," wealth, status, attention, popularity, addiction, pleasure.
Where I am, right now (oh yeah, that's coming), He thinks I am beautiful. That doesn't mean He loves my choices or my actions or my thoughts-- just like I know there must be some things going on in the lives of the ladies I sat in front of and discussed temptation with that I wouldn't so much approve of. But that wasn't what mattered as I looked them in their eyes and saw them for the potential they hold and the things they'll go through that don't have to be carried alone. Choices, actions, thoughts and all--God looks me in the eyes and says "pay attention, because you just don't know what is next."
The fact that He would do so--look past all the stuff He sent Jesus in the world to redeem to get right to my heart-- puts a conviction in me to confront what needs to change. Oh He sees it. Like when our RA came the other day and saw Solomon the illegal cat livin' up in our apartment. He waited for us to admit it. "Oh yeah, that's our cat..." That's when it's on the table for His forgiveness. How much better is "forgiven" than "looked past?"
"Looked past" lets things fester. Just like the desire for "cool" in the 7th grade becomes the desire for "cool" all wrapped up in sex and alcohol in the 11th, so pride right now becomes pride all wrapped up in hurt relationships and a haughty spirit down the road. I could see it for the girls, God can see it in me. To avoid it down the road means to address it and prepare a defense now.
Today. And then tomorrow. And then the next day. Each one with a beauty all its own. The beauty He saw in me the first day, and the beauty in watching me grow. I don't always see it. But it's in the eye of the beholder. And the beholder?
It's Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment