No offense to emos out there.
The thing is that this really is meant to be just a personal journal.
I don't really want a crowd reading my thoughts. I don't have this fantasy to be famous nor am I pretending to be popular. Fact is I have an audience of one (I've heard that said by a lot of Christian musicians and thought it sounded cool, but I don't think I pull it off as well).
I just think if we had the option of introducing ourselves to someone new, or even slightly removed (like, for instance, across cyber space-- do they even use that term anymore?! I'm unsure) we'd be more honest.
I mean, it's not like I'm straight up lying or living unhappily with the relationships I do have. I just don't think social settings give people enough time to really express what they think. Or what's going on in life.
"How are you?"
"I'm good."
Seriously, go count the amount of times you hear that "conversation" in the length of a day.
I don't really want a crowd reading my thoughts. I don't have this fantasy to be famous nor am I pretending to be popular. Fact is I have an audience of one (I've heard that said by a lot of Christian musicians and thought it sounded cool, but I don't think I pull it off as well).
I just think if we had the option of introducing ourselves to someone new, or even slightly removed (like, for instance, across cyber space-- do they even use that term anymore?! I'm unsure) we'd be more honest.
I mean, it's not like I'm straight up lying or living unhappily with the relationships I do have. I just don't think social settings give people enough time to really express what they think. Or what's going on in life.
"How are you?"
"I'm good."
Seriously, go count the amount of times you hear that "conversation" in the length of a day.
I don't think everyone who starts a meeting with someone like this is a bad person. I do it all the time.
And I always kick myself afterwards, because I know that the "i'm good" response is true like 95% of the time- yet so many times I'm content with that answer from my friends and I move on. I haven't given them time to tell me what's going on.
In reality, the "I'm good" response is probably true more than 95% of the time, but it is very rarely the end of the story.
And I always kick myself afterwards, because I know that the "i'm good" response is true like 95% of the time- yet so many times I'm content with that answer from my friends and I move on. I haven't given them time to tell me what's going on.
In reality, the "I'm good" response is probably true more than 95% of the time, but it is very rarely the end of the story.
Many times we are good. And we're not sad because we've lied to someone, we are just sad that we aren't given (or don't take) the chance to go deeper.
Related note:
I promise that my life and relationships would be so different if how I want to live and how I actually live matched up.
Again, it's not like I'm slaughtering puppies when no one is watching. I try to be a good friend and family member. There are just some times when I'm too harsh with my answer, or too loud in a group and I think, Man I could have done that so differently.
This blog is my chance to voice my intent. To think about what I would say if I really put more time into letting people know how I am feeling. How much I cherish them. How I often wish that my actions were humbler and gentler.
Related note:
I promise that my life and relationships would be so different if how I want to live and how I actually live matched up.
Again, it's not like I'm slaughtering puppies when no one is watching. I try to be a good friend and family member. There are just some times when I'm too harsh with my answer, or too loud in a group and I think, Man I could have done that so differently.
This blog is my chance to voice my intent. To think about what I would say if I really put more time into letting people know how I am feeling. How much I cherish them. How I often wish that my actions were humbler and gentler.
I don't mean all of this in a selfish or overly self conscious way.
I mean I know not everyone can be pleased all of the time. And to a certain extent I can only be myself- I can't control opinions of me. So these things do not always occupy my thoughts.
I do, however, think that indifference or disconnect in relationships can be a strong indication that something has gotten lost in translation. Something has gone wrong between what you want to come across and what is actually communicated.
When something feels off in my relationships or even simple interactions (sometimes frustrated, one-way arguments with the laundry) it can be a good indication that in my desire to bear the fruit, I have failed to seek the Spirit.
I mean I know not everyone can be pleased all of the time. And to a certain extent I can only be myself- I can't control opinions of me. So these things do not always occupy my thoughts.
I do, however, think that indifference or disconnect in relationships can be a strong indication that something has gotten lost in translation. Something has gone wrong between what you want to come across and what is actually communicated.
When something feels off in my relationships or even simple interactions (sometimes frustrated, one-way arguments with the laundry) it can be a good indication that in my desire to bear the fruit, I have failed to seek the Spirit.
This blog is the chance I have to declare before my audience, even if it is just the One, that I truly want to be more loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled (Galatians 5:22). And then to document my journey to getting there. To recognize and address the fact that I am not perfect. To post pictures and stories to remember life as it was and to reflect on these days and ask myself if there's been any change.
This is my "I'm good" dot dot dot...
This is my "I'm good" dot dot dot...
God has gifted us with a range of emotions.
We don't always get to put them out there. So I'm expressing some of them here.
Only I really think they're meant to be shared, so I address an audience.
Told you it was kinda weird.
We don't always get to put them out there. So I'm expressing some of them here.
Only I really think they're meant to be shared, so I address an audience.
Told you it was kinda weird.
Speaking of weird and range of emotions, some precious friends opted for an impromtu photo shoot tonight that I think really captures the range well.
What would you do if...
What would you do if...
...Kristen fell over while playing football
you were sophisticated (clearly sophisticated was too big a word for them to handle)
you were a professor
you were a gangsta (ha!)
you were normal
your boyfriend said I love you
(or this might have been you saw someone get hit by a car... the pictures came up looking surprisingly similar)
you got fired from your job
you were best friends
oh no, this was i love you
you were choking
No comments:
Post a Comment