Have At It

If my last post came across a little self-indulgent, it's probably because it was. Fun, yes. Entertaining, yes. An accurate picture of the events surrounding me, yes. And not necessarily wrong. Just self-indulgent. Self-centered. And while I am so, so thankful to God for surrounding me with the people and the things that bring me so much happiness, I know these things were not intended to revolve around me.

Good thing, too. Because I would screw it up. I do screw it up. And waking up and admitting that to God is what it's all about. Otherwise hours are monotonous, days are tedious, and weeks are letdowns. Not exactly the life God was thinking of when He sent Jesus to save His people from their monotonous, tedious, unsatisfactory lives. Phil Nelson, the speaker at Axis this weekend, stressed the point to us that we too often tend to stick to the New Testament and sing our yay Gods! And I mean, yes, yay God! But then what is it that makes Jesus such a savior? If we just look from His life on, we miss what it was we were saved from. We miss half of the story. And perhaps too conveniently we miss the condemnation. The depravity. The hopelessness. 

I personally have missed this phase. Both in the Bible and in my life. Growing up in a Christian home is not something I would soon give up. I love that in each session I sat through yesterday my family came up as my first example of so many truths being taught. I don't say this to be boastful. Hear me, I mean this to be the very opposite of boastful. Because even though my family has been the greatest model of faith, hope, and love (and care, love and hope ;)), even though we've gotten many things right, we have gotten so many things wrong. And too often I don't see this. Or if I do, I let it slide. And I let myself think that we're perfect. I don't actually believe we're perfect. But it is so easy to think it... to float along assuming it. 

And being raised in church I've always been pointed in the direction of grace. Fabulous! It is an absolutely necessary aspect of Christianity. It is the most endearing quality of Christ. But as I've grown up with this, I start to get cocky. Which is ironic because cocky's like the opposite of grace. I start to think (again, not really believe, just assume) that I've somehow deserved it. Or at the very least that I really haven't done anything so wrong. Nothing is really urgent. Nothing really cuts deep. Jesus cuts deep. Somewhere along the way a disconnect happened. 

I wouldn't give up for a minute being raised with a knowledge of Christ. I am so grateful to have access to the Bible and to know how to look up passages. I am so grateful to the role models that are my family and my Church. I am so grateful to praying grandparents. But I would give up this comfort in a heartbeat. I don't say it lightly, because He doesn't take it lightly. He cuts deep. 

It is my comfort that keeps me from getting up and digging in to the Bible. It is my comfort with family and friends that keeps me from reaching out. It is my comfort in knowing that I am prayed over that keeps me from praying not just for my life and God's will for it, but also for those around me. It is my comfort that keeps me from studying what it is exactly that I was saved from. 

"we were by nature objects of wrath" (Ephesians 2:3)

"all our righteous acts are like filthy rags" (Isaiah 64:6)

I know it would not be kosher to teach these verses to the little 9 year olds. But 19-year-olds? We should be getting a better handle on them. We have sinned against a Holy God (Romans 7:6). We continually sin against a Holy God. And if I don't start to get a picture of just how awesome, how big that sin is, I can't begin to claim to know about how awesome, how big God is. And vice versa. 

We are objects of wrath. And we are fleeing from the wrath of God. It's hard to fathom when I'm looking around at seemingly boundless beauty, enveloped in seemingly endless comfort. But God's justice is undeniable. And He chases after those who have, through sin, unknowingly killed His Son. And knowing that Sin would kill Jesus on Earth, God chose to still send him as a City of Refuge. A place of protection. Not of protection from the rain. Protection from parental abuse. Protection from the pain of death. These are comforts that I just find myself with right now. This City of Refuge, it is protection from the unshielded wrath of God. Justified wrath. He gave us Jesus as an escape. Not an excuse. 

Proverbs 3:34- God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. 

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." (Matthew 14:28) 

I'm telling you tonight God, I'd give up the comfort. Call me to the water. Have at it.