Low

I am selfish.

I am struggling.

I am hurtful.

I am hurting.

I am sinful.

I am not good enough.

I am the one with the problem.

I am stained.

I am humiliated.

I am imperfect.

I feel these things tonight.

I am low.

But.

(and it's not an easy but for me to get to)

I praise a God who says Sadie, that's the point.

Who sweat blood in the garden because the above mentioned things hurt him even more than they hurt me tonight.

But he took the cup.

He lowered himself.

To lift me up.

I don't feel worth it.

And I'd like to stay low because it's where I belong I think.

But I'm going to get over myself before I miss the blessing.

He's already taken this on.

I don't have to fixate on it.

But just so you don't miss it.

I'm imperfect.

That doesn't end because I choose to focus on Christ in his perfection.

It just means I refuse to stop at my sin.

Because Christ refused to stop there first.

And having been lowest of low, he raised himself from the dead.

To bring me with him.

Even though I'm low.

And I am that.

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered,

I was senseless and ignorant;

I was a brute beast before you.

Yet I am always with you;

you hold me by my right hand.

You guide me with you counsel,

and afterward you will take me into glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you?

And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail,

but God is the strength of my heart

and my portion forever.

-Psalm 73:21-26

senseless. ignorant. fail.

guidance. glory. strength.