Library again.
Nothing else quite indicates the passing of time like listening as Parson reads me a book.
Crazy.
This place brings out in me an important quality that I otherwise lack notably: ambition. Here I want to pick up a book and finish it. I want to know more and think more and solidify all those fluid emotions and elusive pangs of the heart into a worldview that best helps me love the world and, most importantly, the people in it.
Here I feel pulled. I might never be smart enough or good enough or experienced enough or ambitious enough to accomplish truly accomplished things. But I know I can feel, think, care, learn, listen. Sitting here, I feel I'm listening best-- at the one place that makes me feel ambitious while simultaneously, physically showing me how much I don't know. It's a forced humility, a literal display of what I've left to learn. That God would care to teach comforts me; that knowledge fills shelves so near nudges me.
I love this place.
Because, alas, time is passing. Beside me Parson sits patiently (though not still because that's a little impossible for a boisterous boy of 6 years), ready to read me something new.
I make a note to remind him he used to rely on me for help sitting up and heating a bottle, just to keep things in perspective.
That's it, perspective. I walk to dictionaries because I can and it sometimes it's fun to take the old-fashioned route. I learn that in science, it means "the appearance of depth in objects. " I read on to find that it also means, "the state of one's ideas, the facts known to one, etc., in having a meaningful interrelationship."
Maybe ambition builds here because perspective seems nearer here. And because ambition turns disastrous if blind, here I feel most compelled to ask God to bring "meaningful interrelationship" to this day. summer. life.
His patience runs thin, the 6 year old's. It's time to read "The Present."
The title is shockingly fitting for my reflections, I think as he begins. Pensive eyes study pages as he works to bring meaning to the script. Ambition is well and good, but as his finger lines the words I can't help but think that perspective means knowing you've got places to go, knowing there's a bigger picture but having the presence of mind to appreciate life presently.
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We finish the book and he leaps (this is, in fact, his slowest pace) off to the computer. My eyes wander back to my pages. My interest piques when he starts conversation. He thinks he's whispering.
"What school do you go to?" he poses to the braided girl in pink. They're both clicking away at games.
"SSSSHHHHH!" Jackson hurries to intervene. It is true, the tone needed to come down a notch, but that wasn't the impetus for Jackson's equally noisy command.
His concern is for the girl, whom he feels shouldn't be bothered. He seeks to build a wall because he's picking up on the fact that the most socially acceptable move regarding strangers is to leave them be.
"It doesn't matter," he informs Parson. That's an issue, I think. In trying to do right and keep to ourselves, we communicate, one to another that the life and thoughts of the other do not matter. Diana saw the issue and observed, "the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of feeling unloved."
6 year old wisdom is shushed too soon. He cares about the school. And, in truth, it does matter. To her, and thus to him. Sweet boy.
Jackson cares, too, really. But experience tells him that the best way to care is to maintain boundaries. The philosopher Kant argued that all knowledge is experiential. Sometimes wisdom, though, is unlearning what experience taught.
Maybe ambition builds here because perspective seems nearer here. And because ambition turns disastrous if blind, here I feel most compelled to ask God to bring "meaningful interrelationship" to this day. summer. life.
His patience runs thin, the 6 year old's. It's time to read "The Present."
The title is shockingly fitting for my reflections, I think as he begins. Pensive eyes study pages as he works to bring meaning to the script. Ambition is well and good, but as his finger lines the words I can't help but think that perspective means knowing you've got places to go, knowing there's a bigger picture but having the presence of mind to appreciate life presently.
--------------------------------------------------------
We finish the book and he leaps (this is, in fact, his slowest pace) off to the computer. My eyes wander back to my pages. My interest piques when he starts conversation. He thinks he's whispering.
"What school do you go to?" he poses to the braided girl in pink. They're both clicking away at games.
"SSSSHHHHH!" Jackson hurries to intervene. It is true, the tone needed to come down a notch, but that wasn't the impetus for Jackson's equally noisy command.
His concern is for the girl, whom he feels shouldn't be bothered. He seeks to build a wall because he's picking up on the fact that the most socially acceptable move regarding strangers is to leave them be.
"It doesn't matter," he informs Parson. That's an issue, I think. In trying to do right and keep to ourselves, we communicate, one to another that the life and thoughts of the other do not matter. Diana saw the issue and observed, "the biggest disease the world suffers from in this day and age is the disease of feeling unloved."
6 year old wisdom is shushed too soon. He cares about the school. And, in truth, it does matter. To her, and thus to him. Sweet boy.
Jackson cares, too, really. But experience tells him that the best way to care is to maintain boundaries. The philosopher Kant argued that all knowledge is experiential. Sometimes wisdom, though, is unlearning what experience taught.
Most of the time love means stepping across the boundary.
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We've had a good go of it. (Steve Irwin taught me that expression).
They're still alive and healthy and happy (though I'm apparently Jackson's second best babysitter because I only let them eat at snacktime... ha!). I've further learned what it's like to at least maintain the health and life of two boys on the days when happiness is allusive and they just can't "get right."
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{today}
Well, friends, summer is over. The boys go back to school tomorrow, and so this is my last day of 8 hours with straight up humorous, fun-loving, sometimes frustrating, oft-brawling, snack-seeking, precious, ultimately-adoring balls of energy.
Well, friends, summer is over. The boys go back to school tomorrow, and so this is my last day of 8 hours with straight up humorous, fun-loving, sometimes frustrating, oft-brawling, snack-seeking, precious, ultimately-adoring balls of energy.
We've had a good go of it. (Steve Irwin taught me that expression).
They're still alive and healthy and happy (though I'm apparently Jackson's second best babysitter because I only let them eat at snacktime... ha!). I've further learned what it's like to at least maintain the health and life of two boys on the days when happiness is allusive and they just can't "get right."
Along the way I've tweeted their moments and comments of noteworthy humor or delight, but I fear those will get buried under a pile of tweets as life moves on. Here I'll keep the full record for easy remembering.
Me: Jackson, how'd you get so smart? Jackson: I watch Harry potter
Me: what are y'all doing? J: pro wresting me: I think you have to be "pro" for that. P: well he keeps chunkin my pineapples like a pro
Popcorn with "9 cracks of pepper and precisely 3 pinches of salt" and catching butterflies. Delight!
Am I a terrible babysitter for not seeing a difference between the frog, rocket, popcorn, and bunny dives?
Jackson: "miss Sadie, can you please ground me from the wii so I can't be grounded from anything else?"
Proof that I'm not chuck e cheese dependent. Me: salmon J: noodles P: snap peas
In pool. J: "oh I never took my underwear off. Just as well, this suit doesn't have a net, anyway." I am not familiar with these troubles.
J: just close your eyes P: okay, but I am petrified. At best, I'm apprehensive. (he's SIX, people!)
J: miss Sadie!! Parson has another loose tooth!! (sighs) ... they grow up so fast
Well after 21 years with zero major cuts (unless we count the fish hook), the thumb found competition in a watermelon
Me: "nevadas capital is Carson city." P: "so it's 'parson city' with a 'c'. Critical mistake."
Trying to get a kid to do math on August 2 is like trying to bathe a cat. J: but I'm already terribly smart, miss Sadie. ... I know how to make glue-- get some spit, swirl it around in your belly button with a finger and there you have it. I don't need school!
And now-- "miss Sadie, I don't know how this is happening, but it feels like I have water up my nose and it's too distracting 4 me to work."
P: I just got a bite of burnt on my salmon. Me: I'm sorry, dude. P: that's okay, miss Sadie, you can just try harder next time
Jackson just tried to buy me out of timeout. Coulda made 10 bucks, folks-- hard to pass up, but I managed
P asked me "why is it the J is bigger than me, older than me, had more school than me" an tho I think he was going somewhere deep... ... I chose to start rapping a la Jaden Smith of Never Say Never really loudly. Couldn't resist! Then P finished his sentence, unphased "but I'm still way better at jumping and flipping." I've introduced him to the phrase, "street smart"
J: I really wish there was no school. P: well you also wish I wasn't alive and you could have candy all day, but that's just not real.
These kids think I'm ancient because I can't remember how much "moneys" the tooth fairy left me for my first tooth. @olemisstrudy, help?
After this impromptu trip to walmart, we are the proud owners of Rio. Also, "Miss Sadie, your car is cold for the first time ever."
well my alarm sounded like the beginnings of WWIII in volume and intensity. i blame the 9 year old.
A little QT and a little OT.
Best part of my day is a toss up between lunch with @emilyss2086 and the boys and errands with @StephSmith627 and THE boy (& it's only 5pm!)
Watching march of the penguins with p. Watching one do a mating call, he informs me that the penguin is "attempting contact." well... Yes.
A few weeks ago I took some pictures of the boys for their dad's birthday gift, and I jumped in a few. This is what photography looks like with a 9 and 6 year old behind the lens.
Me: Jackson, how'd you get so smart? Jackson: I watch Harry potter
Me: what are y'all doing? J: pro wresting me: I think you have to be "pro" for that. P: well he keeps chunkin my pineapples like a pro
Popcorn with "9 cracks of pepper and precisely 3 pinches of salt" and catching butterflies. Delight!
Am I a terrible babysitter for not seeing a difference between the frog, rocket, popcorn, and bunny dives?
Jackson: "miss Sadie, can you please ground me from the wii so I can't be grounded from anything else?"
Proof that I'm not chuck e cheese dependent. Me: salmon J: noodles P: snap peas
In pool. J: "oh I never took my underwear off. Just as well, this suit doesn't have a net, anyway." I am not familiar with these troubles.
J: just close your eyes P: okay, but I am petrified. At best, I'm apprehensive. (he's SIX, people!)
J: miss Sadie!! Parson has another loose tooth!! (sighs) ... they grow up so fast
Well after 21 years with zero major cuts (unless we count the fish hook), the thumb found competition in a watermelon
Me: "nevadas capital is Carson city." P: "so it's 'parson city' with a 'c'. Critical mistake."
Trying to get a kid to do math on August 2 is like trying to bathe a cat. J: but I'm already terribly smart, miss Sadie. ... I know how to make glue-- get some spit, swirl it around in your belly button with a finger and there you have it. I don't need school!
And now-- "miss Sadie, I don't know how this is happening, but it feels like I have water up my nose and it's too distracting 4 me to work."
P: I just got a bite of burnt on my salmon. Me: I'm sorry, dude. P: that's okay, miss Sadie, you can just try harder next time
Jackson just tried to buy me out of timeout. Coulda made 10 bucks, folks-- hard to pass up, but I managed
P asked me "why is it the J is bigger than me, older than me, had more school than me" an tho I think he was going somewhere deep... ... I chose to start rapping a la Jaden Smith of Never Say Never really loudly. Couldn't resist! Then P finished his sentence, unphased "but I'm still way better at jumping and flipping." I've introduced him to the phrase, "street smart"
J: I really wish there was no school. P: well you also wish I wasn't alive and you could have candy all day, but that's just not real.
These kids think I'm ancient because I can't remember how much "moneys" the tooth fairy left me for my first tooth. @olemisstrudy, help?
After this impromptu trip to walmart, we are the proud owners of Rio. Also, "Miss Sadie, your car is cold for the first time ever."
well my alarm sounded like the beginnings of WWIII in volume and intensity. i blame the 9 year old.
A little QT and a little OT.
Best part of my day is a toss up between lunch with @emilyss2086 and the boys and errands with @StephSmith627 and THE boy (& it's only 5pm!)
Watching march of the penguins with p. Watching one do a mating call, he informs me that the penguin is "attempting contact." well... Yes.
A few weeks ago I took some pictures of the boys for their dad's birthday gift, and I jumped in a few. This is what photography looks like with a 9 and 6 year old behind the lens.
(he's not pained because he's having to take pictures, but rather because it took approx. 5 minutes for Parson to find the button to push... learning.) ;)
This is the result of efforts to get one of us all together.
Thus concludes another summer of learning about life and laughing at it, kids in tow.
This is the result of efforts to get one of us all together.
Thus concludes another summer of learning about life and laughing at it, kids in tow.
2 comments:
I am crying! Love you! Thank you!
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