I'm doing my best to enjoy the last sips of summer life much like I'm trying my best to savor the Peanut Butter Cup smoothie I brought home from work.
That's a treat, you see, because the smoothie has 600 calories. (and also because in 1 week I'm going to have to pay full price for these babies).
It's a simply indulgent smoothie. As in it says that on the menu. Indulgent.
In many ways, that's what this final bit of time left at home is. Shopping for "school clothes" with Mom and buying bridal gifts and Step Up marathons and babysitting and working with the hilarities I call coworkers* and curling up in my room's new reading chair with my alpaca blanket is all coming to an end shortly. And forever.
I mean, sure. Fun will always exist in life where you throw in a little energy to conjure it up. I pray I'll always have the energy to entertain the subjects above. But this is the last summer in the traditional style I've known to date. Not to be dramatic or anything.
The thing is that it doesn't feel very dramatic. Just like another school year to pump myself up to. Thinking towards summers of uninterrupted work or starting a career away from home or whatever else God has up his sleeve seems a bit daunting. But so did the 5th grade when I was starting the 4th. It's about a step at a time. So that's what I'm doing.
The step I was particularly grateful for last night was drifting asleep healthy. And knowing that every other one of my loved ones was doing so, too. For some reason I had a quick vision of myself trying to fall asleep in a hospital bed and it cast my plush, comfy bed in a glorious light.
At best I am elated to start this semester. At worst, I am overwhelmed by how much there is to do before it has even begun. Insert lump in throat here. Anxious to do something about the, well, anxiety, I actually wrote out a list.
No I do not have a fever. Just a residual headache, thankyouverymuch.
It's not so much a list of things to do, as so much a list of goals to fulfill. School Year's resolutions, if you will:
1. The Tivo must go!
It is the greatest blessing a curse has ever been, the television recording device. By it, friends are able to gather and laugh, or one is able to have something stomach-able to watch at 2 a.m. All the time is the time to watch t.v. with these things and with it one (or at least this one) is fooled into thinking there is all the time in the world. All the time to write papers and have conversation and journal and pray and study and dance and seize the day! Until, of course, little of these things happen because all of the time just got spent either in front of the tv or planning events around it. And so, my friends, the tivo must go.
2. The Cell Phone Policy makes its debut
If you know me, you know my beef with the cell phone. You know I'd rather just not have one. I don't enjoy the idea that people can expect to talk to me any time of day they'd like or that they would have the right to be upset with me if I was not available. Phone calls weren't meant to be taken during lunch time, nor was texting designed as a diversion from present company.
That being said, I know there is a balance to strike between the real world and the grandmother that lives inside of me. A few things lead me to my new policy:
a. I know I take my... let's say reclusive... cell phone tendencies have the tendency to drift from any notion of the etiquette in whose name I protest.
b. Back in the 'ole days I remember Mom making it a specific point to check messages and return calls for the first 10 minutes or so after we got home from running errands. Any friend in the history of being my friend could tell you I might benefit from my mother's sound example.
c. I've recently become more conscious of my activity while at the wheel of a car. And my responsibility as a citizen to consider the safety of everyone else's precious cargo even if I am by myself in my car.
So the plan is to maximize the benefits of the cell (i.e. emergency help, communication with people I've made plans with, contact with people when they need me) while minimizing the hassle of being a part of the instant gratification generation and the frustration I have with phones. My phone will be on me at almost all times. I will, however, only check it once I arrive back at my apartment. At which point I will dedicate the first few minutes to returning any calls I "miss" while out and about.
I can guarantee this will mean that I answer my phone less often. But I am certain that it will increase the rate at which I return that call. Win/win.
3. Better Stewardship
I want to use what I have and use it well. I want to share and share well. With many people because that's what brings me joy. And if I can make it happen, I'm sure it would make me a much better servant-- a lover of God and of people. And I'm interested in that.
This sounds stupid, I know. But I'm starting with my clothes. Use it or lose it, baby. So I'm going to return to the 4th grade (this is becoming a theme in this blog post) and lay out my clothes before bed, while I have the time and energy to actually look at and use what I have. What I don't use goes. In this way, I will become a better steward of my resources.
By the same token, I would like to be a better steward of my time. A planner will help with this. (novel, I know). I'd like to become a part of the system that allows me to be a good steward of my clothes by enabling me to donate what I don't use by volunteering at a donation center. I don't know where that is or what it looks like, but it is a school year resolution, and I will find a way.
4. I'm going back to the closet, baby.
Back in the day when I peed in my pants in front of my boss while telling him I'd spend 1 hour of quiet time in my closet every night, I had no idea how beneficial that time would actually be (or how God can teach someone through their ineffective bladder). I'm missing the company of my shoes during my prayers and the rustling of my roommates outside of the door as they attempt to feed me and pass me notes during my "time out."
And at the end of the time, I can pick out my clothes, so #3 is built in here.
Score.
5. 365 Days of Thankfulness.
Niki Mangan (who may or may not know I exist) has been doing this for a while and I've envied it every time it shows up in my news feed. So, starting on September 5, 2010, I'm posting a picture for every day and being thankful. On purpose.
6. DC
#6 will incorporate #4, which incorporated #3, so this list gets easier as we go. Last year I resolved to get to DC more often. So I did. And it was great and beyond what I knew to expect. God just does that sometimes. But now I'm intrigued because if He can do that with the silly little idea of a starry eyed little college girl wanting to take more cute-sy day trips to the city, I want to know what He can do with the longing prayers of a broken-hearted near-graduate who wants to make a difference in that city. Or somewhere. I can't approach it on my own and God wouldn't want me to and I think knowing where to go next starts with a humble and regular acknowledgement of that so that prayer will be built in to the glorious, everyday college life that I do my best to soak up.
7. Job or no job, this internship is going on record.
The schedule of topics this past spring for the internship at Fairview was beyond coincidence or happenstance. There was a purpose behind every meeting. But. I was terrible at recording what we did and what resources I used so whether I'm coordinator or not, I will have a group of students and I will keep tabs on our "curriculum."
8. Church people, here I come.
Turns out that there are so cool folks at Fairview. Pretty certain I knew that going into Peru. Coming out, though, I have such a deeper desire to grow those relationships. Thus, it is on the list.
9. Let there be sleepovers!
In all of the chaos that was the busy lives of the ladies of La Petite Maison Blanche and given my own home-body tendencies, it turns out that I did a lot less bunking in than I'd dreamed last year. This year, an overnight bag will permanently reside at the little white house, so there will be no excuse against spontaneous sleeping over. Katie Jones, I'll leave Freedman at the apt. so you won't be lonely. Plus there's always Claire and Claire!coffee :)
10. Farmer's market, baby!
There's something about cheap fresh flowers that I can't resist. Except for I have for three years. Not. Any. More. Last year I accomplished the "go-to-DC-more-often" dream. Now it's downtown Fredericksburg's turn. It's time to shop local, starting with my Saturday mornings.
So that's it. It might be ambitious, but it's enough to turn anxiety into excitement and daunting tasks into fulfilling goals. With the correct amount of listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Great Adventure" and some good company along the way, I think the list is doable.
Saddle up your horses.
Im coming for you, Senior Year.
