Airplanes and Medicine Cabinets

Amazingly I'm at school with no pictures to show for it.

Moving in is always such a whirlwind-- there simply is no time. But with the help of Modlys, Smiths, and amazing friends it was such a good time warp. My parents left this morning and I was so sad to see them go. Even with all of the friends here, losing them hurts a little. And to think I probably will not see them until Thanksgiving is a little disheartening. Yes, sitting on this side is quite different from Thursday sitting at home on my couch with Bella inches away. Still, I am not alone, and I am far from lonely. Praise God for friends! 

Tonight I read Esther 4:12-17.  She's feeling defeated. Afraid, essentially, of rejection. She is overwhelmed by her responsibility and tells Mordecai that she just can't. It's too much. 

Now, I'm not responsible here for an entire population of people. Also, if I fail I really don't face death. That said, today has been a little overwhelming. I look at the papers and assignments and my blank word page and just feel already defeated. Good thing Mordecai pulled Esther together thousands of years ago so God could pull me together today. 

"And who knows, maybe you have attained royalty for such a time as this."

I'm no royal. I'm just a sophomore trying to get an education. But today God assured me I am here, I am privileged to be here, for such a time as this. What was Esther's reply? What should be my reply?

"If I perish, I perish."

Again, not at risk of death here. But if Esther can take in a deep breath, accept her situation, and be calmed by the assurance of Godly counsel, surely I can, too.

And I am. Because 5 classes is far less daunting than leading a people group out of captivity in plain view of the opposition party who happened to be led by Esther's husband. And God even managed to pull that one off for Esther.

I know He's got this. I'm asking Him now to have this. As Trudy Smith so aptly quips, I'm "giving it to God."

"Yet those who wait for the LORD

Will gain new strength;

They will mount up with wings like eagles,

They will run and not get tired,

They will walk and not become weary."

(Isaiah 40:31)

Unlike me, God is never too busy with other things.
When he is invisible, he is at work.
And today when He stepped back and let me get a little overwhelmed, He quickly stepped right back in with all of his sufficient glory.

The prophet Isaiah outlined this glory in the above mentioned verse.
When we wait on the Lord, when we seek Him, we gain 4 things:

*new strength

*better perspective

*stored energy

*determination to persevere

So while I cannot be with my family back home, however sad I feel about that at times, I know that He is. And He can do far more for them than me. So I give Him control there and His strength and perspective makes me better able to appreciate what I have here, rather than long for what I don't. 

When I got on the airplane to FredVegas, I made the decision to give up control. Yes, control of the plane, but in the bigger picture, control of my destination. I flew away from the big LR and asked God to both stay and go. He can. And He has.

Every day I have a great mirror/medicine cabinet (generously provided by my dad) to remind me that He has provided me with more than enough to get through the day. In this mirror he casts back a reflection. And while so often I just check my hair and makeup (and lets don't lie, pick my teeth) it is always an opportunity to really check myself.