"God is full of surprises, but it takes a sensitive spirit to see them." -Chuck Swindoll
I think there are two types of sensitive. A selfish sensitive and a selfless sensitive. A selfish sensitive person is one who is constantly down on themselves, believing that they are the center of everyone's dogging. They fear being the butt of the joke. They're paranoid. They're sensitive.
Selfless sensitive presents in an entirely different way. These people are outgoing. Or if not outgoing, they are accommodating of those around them. They are joyful. They are ready- ready to serve. Ready to learn. Ready to be surprised. They're sensitive.
I mean, let's be honest, I'm one of the former. Sometimes I'm paranoid, even more afraid of what others are thinking. I'm selfish and I hate to see the repercussions of that amongst my friends. You know like when your friendships hit a halt. You feel pretty ineffective, essentially lost in yourself and how you're feeling. Feeling like you have a right to be upset with them, or worse, you know you have no reason to be upset except you just feel like it. It's a pit. Because, to borrow from Grey's Anatomy, putting a fence around yourself doesn't keep people out, it keeps you in. Don't get me wrong, I think everyone should have a select amount of people whose opinion you value to keep you in line, but constantly worrying what others think? Not a good use of time. Also, exhausting.
Wouldn't it be nice to belong to the second group? The one so free of fences, so transparent, so ready? No questions asked, waiting to be surprised? So overjoyed when the surprises come that they're enthusiasm is contagious. Only worried about the approval of One (and those who are asked to point out qualities that are Christlike, or a lack thereof). Truly sensitive to others' needs because they're sensitive to a giving Spirit. I'd love to be this person. And not to gain others' approval, but to really know that my impact was a positive one.
I also think a selfless sensitive spirit is more easily used by God. Not the only kind, just easier on the subject being used. For the majority of us, the selfish sensitives, we have to be more jolted. We're a little less comfortable with our surprise because it knocks us out of our comfort zone, it tears down the fences and comes barging up to our front door. I don't think it's punishment by God for being this way, just a wake up call, often brought on ourselves for acting in such a way in the first place. Sometimes it is just getting to the point that we're miserable in our friendships because we've stopped bearing fruit because we've cut ourselves off from the Vine. Sometimes the surprise just isn't the fun kind- but there is joy in knowing that the surprise wasn't a surprise to Him at all.
"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love you salvation always say,
'The LORD be exalted!'
Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay"
-Psalm 40:16-17
There are some times when we get to the selfless point of sensitive. We have great friendships going on, we're being inclusive, we're serving. Inevitably, though, we begin to think it's a result of something we've done right. This is why, I think, God has really been putting humility on my heart. Because when I am rejoicing in Him, when I am fruitful because He has provided, I must remember that on my own I am poor and needy. And that before he gave me so much, he delivered me from nothingness. And from the resulting gratitude, I should be sensitive to his movement. I should always exalt Him.
I love children because they are such an example of transparency. They have no fences, even the shy ones. They are quick to joy (now please know I understand there are off days) and eager to learn. They love a good surprise and are usually full of them. They are just ready for life, unaware of real letdowns. They have not yet had to be jolted out of selfishness (because hopefully the parents nip selfishness before it becomes a problem, like they can't do for the kids in later years). Disappointment rarely keeps them from moving forward. Youth is not wasted on the young, it's there for all to see. For all to learn from. It's there to grow out of and it's there to remember.
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