A Big Kid Now

I could have used one of these on an epic adventure a group of us took around the second weekend we were back from winter break (really, that long ago? wow.) 

I wasn't going to bring this up, but then I found this product advertised on MckMama's blog.

Remember in my last post when I said internal agony is so isolating? Well this was one of those cases. Except for humorous, so not really one of those cases at all. In the history of being me, I have always been the first to need a pit stop.  Always. 

My friends here hadn't really picked up on that detail by January 2009 and out of pride I was determined that such a stereotype would not get pinned on me in these, my grown up years. So me and my pride camped out in the back seat, sitting extremely still, biting my lip, silently pleading with my many hilarious friends not to make too funny a joke. However, this was an impossible request to make of Noelle, Ashley, and Jill on a Friday night trek home from DC. I was not going to be able to keep my peace. And by my peace I mean pee. 

So I casually asked Noelle if I could borrow her starbucks drink cup. I had a cup, too. But it was a tall and judging by how badly I HAD TO GO, that wasn't going to do, ya know? And for Ruby's sake I wanted to be safe. 

(this is Noelle, with the Venti cup, making the smart decision to wait in line for the bathroom)

"Sure, yeah," she says handing the cup back. "Why?"

Peterso, meanwhile, sees that I am, indeed, headed to the trunk.

"You are not really going to do this."

My grown up response (because you know the whole point of not making the request to pull over is to escape the childhood memories) followed: "Your mom is not really going to do this."

That was that.

To my delight, I was not met with mad protest. First there was disbelief, then mad laughter. And laughter, I'll have you know, is not good for a constant stream. I know this is getting to being TMI. But I never really knew this fact, seeing as how usually when I am going to the bathroom I am not surrounded by three hysterical best friends. So now you know. 

Also for future reference? You are going to definitely need at least a venti drink cup. I had a close call. Again, a lot of information, but my honest hope is that you benefit from it. 

And for the record it was dark outside, there was very little traffic (although it was a bit of an issue when cars started passing us because Noelle had to slow down because she was not driving at full capacity for all of the giggling going on), there was a lid to put on the cup when I was done (though it freaks present company out when that lid still has a straw in it), and I did have hand sanitizer. I would recommend keeping napkins in the glove compartment-- envelopes just don't work as well. And if you insist on having hilarious friends and must laugh during this process, you would do well to have one of these guys. Life was easier when we could just wear pull-ups. But I am a big kid now.

The moral of the story is that I did avoid being labeled as "the overactive bladder" friend in this, the beginning of my grown up career. It did not occur to me at that moment, though, that I would become the "peed in the back of my car going down 95" friend. A story that will inevitably be told way more often than it should in the years to come. And by way more often I mean even one more time. But I like to keep the facts recorded here.

Take away message: get a GoGirl for emergencies, but always at least consider the pit-stop idea first. I promise the jokes about how you need some Detrol LA for your overactive bladder ("and I don't have to go right now") hurt the pride much less than going right then and forever living with references to that night.