Insignificant

It's baaaaack.

Our olympic flashback/forward program is making an appearance after two whole months of nothin.

1980 and Savchenko/Szolkowy (Germany)

1984 and Zhang/Zhang (China)

1988 and Dube/Davison (Canada)

This is the long overdue fourth installment, about the easily overlooked 1992 Albertville olympics. Where? Exactly my point. And, France, by the way. That's where.

I can't say for certain what got me thinking about kickin' this back up. I mean, I know, but I just really can't say yet. I did buy a t-shirt with the olympic rings on it a couple of weeks back and it has been a source of inspiration, for sure.

In addition to this, last Saturday during study breaks, I got a few of us watching some pairs skating and attempting to do some moves in our socks on the hardwood floor of the apartment. We were genius.

(the last two are sit spins, by the way)

And then after exams Katie Jones and I were watching Sale and Pelletier (they'll be comin up sometime in the near future) mostly because she busts it on the ice like I would if I were competent in the ways of skating, and got the great idea to mesh it with music from Glee.

(For the record, as I sit here writing this, Dad is busy writing the "Smith Evacuation Plan" for in case of a fire... some formality that needs to happen before we can get Quasi-Smith up in this house. This is ironic to me given that I begged this family to practice a fire drill after the nice fireman at Career Day suggested it in kindergarten. The drill never happened and neither did an escape plan or meeting point.

Then, back when Luke worked at Cammack Village as a police officer and fireman, I missed it when he was the officer on duty and the rest of the family walked into his house to find a fire near the back door. The mental images of him jumping in his police car to drive to the fire station, hoppin in the fire truck and driving a quarter mile back to his house as mom screams "do something" and dad points the garden hose in the general direction of the flames is almost better than actually being there, though, I think. I don't believe in karma, but.... I'm just sayin' maybe if we had conducted a drill they could have been more cohesive. I guess sometimes DHS has to say something before it will get done. So now, 15 years later, we have an evacuation plan and a ladder to put by the window upstairs. Here is the plan (excuse the mirror effect of the mac):

It reads:

"1. Leave the room.

2. Go down the stairs.

3. Get out of the house through the front door."

... I know this plan will change your life. You will not find a clearer plan than that, trust me. No. Don't trust me. Trust the Doctor and the Fireman. We don't keep 'em around here for nothin.)

(This is officially another side note stemming from the one above that I felt deserved a new parenthetical clause given the monstrous nature of the first one. In that last picture I have fake glasses on because I am trying to get used to the look because I tried on Emily's new prescription glasses and stuff actually was much clearer for me, too. So I might be getting glasses. What do you think?

Eh. We'll see. Actually, I'll see. Better, anyway. If I get the glasses. I might wait until it's unbearable. The lesson learned, though, is that sometimes you just assume you have perfect vision until you are proven wrong by a much clearer picture. Do I assume I have things figured out or am I looking for better focus? That is about as deep as I am prepared to go tonight, so for now just ponder with me, aight?!)

Listen, I told you it was easy to be distracted from, the '92 games of Albertville. But it is where Kristi Yamaguchi won her medal, so there's some importance. Thus we continue the age old tale of Russian domination in pairs figure skating. Only not really because this was the USSR. Oh, but not really because that officially ended in 1989. 1992 was still a time of transition for Soviet Russia and its socialist nation-state affiliates so the "russians" competed under the name "the Unified Team" at this olympics. Just to give it that western pro-United States ring to it, it seems. Still, the Unifieds (*cough* soviets *cough* russians) were again prepared to stomp.

Enter Artur Dmitriev and Natalia Mishkutenok. They trained in Leningrad (modern St. Petersburg) with Tamara Moskvina of Valova and Vasiliev (1984 olympic gold medalists) fame. In competition, these two never placed less than 3rd. After this Olympics, they skated the same routine at Worlds and scored an unprecedented four perfect 6.0 marks. For those who ask "how can you do pairs and not be a couple?" I would suggest calling up Artur and Natalia, who split up as a team amicably soon after their silver medal win at the 1994 Olympic games (coming right up!). Artur went on to partner with Oksana Kazakova (not relation to Oksana Baiul), which becomes important, oh, around 1998. Natalia married a hockey player and then divorced him and then married some random guy and now they have a 3 year old daughter. She coaches skating in Texas (random?) now, completely retired from performance. Dmitriev, however, is still kickin' with his second skating partner, though he has been married to a russian gymnast/choreographer since 1992 and they have a son, Artur Jr. I call him Artie because we're tight like that.

Before you watch, I do ask that you respect the purple.

I don't know who the woman commentator is, but I think she may be Dick Button's daughter to whom he bottle fed a little too much haterade. "She did not get those rotations in AT ALL!"

A little piece of trivia for you all, the move where she grabs his calf and he holds one of her legs so that she does the splits while he spins is something they created and it is now named after her, called "Natasha's spin."

So now our amateurs, Keauna McLaughlin and Rockne Brubaker of the US of A.

Represent.

With any luck, they will represent America in Vancouver. They are the current two time US Championship gold medalists (but, uh, placed 11th at 2009 Worlds. If I remember correctly, she had had the flu. Unfortunately, Katie Jones, none of the flaws in this performance involve skate in the face. Shame.) and at 17 and 23, respectively, have a while to go in their careers.

This is them winning the 2009 US Championships: (beware, Emily, you are not going to like her teeth)

And here is their most recent short program, skated at the Russian Cup last month to "Unchained Melody" (may Patrick Swayze rest in peace):

For the record, Keauna is totally wearing Ekaterina Gordeeva's costume from her 2006 performance of All I Want For Christmas is You. I feel like I should include it since it is that time of year...

As to whether or not they are a couple, it's just hard to say. She is a senior in high school in Colorado Springs, while he is at the University of Colorado. I don't know how much say so a six year age difference has on their being together or not, but these pictures seem to indicate that it doesn't have a lot:

(please note that she is completely horizontal!)

Yeah, yeah, I guess they are just doing their job, really (I wish that was my job). Oh well. besides, the real reason I'm posting that many pictures of them is so that it doesn't seem as obsessive when I put so many of Gordeeva and Grinkov when their turn comes up. What I can say for certain, since wikipedia has informed me, is that the name Keauna is Hawaiian for "feminine wind running through the forest." My name feels so insignificant now.

... not to mention my skating skills.

And still seeming insignificant after all of this?

Albertville.

And Dad's escape plan.