The Most Wonderful Time Of the Year

Oh, yes. Truly fantastic.

Especially after this genius decided that after a day of feeling much sub-er than par she should eat what the Nest labels "mac and beef."

Since my lunch decided to, uh hum, make an early exit, I was pretty hungry come sitting down with my mac and beef. So I ate the entire thing. Not smart.

But eating was something to be doing other than my oral history research paper, so it's what I did. I am now taking the smarter way out and blogging. Because, despite drastic weather changes messing with my head and my sudden gastrointestinal distress syndrome onset, it really is what I believe to be the most wonderful time of the year.

(sidenote: do not be hating up on Hanson's Silent Night medley!)

So I'll take just a second to tell you about my wish list. It is pretty simple. The "item" that takes position number one is actually more of a process and I've actually dreamed about it for a few years now. And I'm actually getting it.

I guess I've been waiting for the process to feel real to actually put my thoughts to paper (well, screen). But I have a feeling that none of this will feel real until I'm at home sharing the house (or maybe even my room) with a new (permanent or otherwise) member of the Smith family. My parents are in the final stages of becoming state-approved foster parents.

How cool is that?!

I don't mean like aren't they such great people, so worthy of praise. I just really think it is awesome. And I, for one, can't wait. Imagine my response, then, when my mom asked me a while back if I'd be upset if we had a child placed in our home before Christmas. Um, hardly. I would hardly mind. When she asked later in the phone call if it was really okay, I told her that I spent the entirety of our conversion trying to come up with a way to be upset or hurt or feel infringed upon by these fostering proceedings happening sooner rather than later and I couldn't find a one.

Not one way that I am not thrilled.

It could be a last child thing, always dreaming about younger siblings (my brother and sister might be slightly more disenchanted with the younger sibling thing), but I've long wished by parents would adopt. Which is easy for me to say given that, well, they'd be doing the parenting.

That's another reason I've encouraged the adoption (or foster care) option-- I love the way they parent. Sure I'm biased, and I don't mean that as in "look how great I turned out." I just admire their cohesion, their interaction, and their attention to each other and as parents. I've always tried to meet their expectations, but they've never made meeting their expectations the ultimate goal. The rules in our house never came out of nowhere, so if I was ever angry with them, I couldn't blame it on some arbitrary parenting decision they made to make my life miserable. Consequently, my life hasn't been very miserable. There are too many kids who can't say as much. Either because their parents rules were so much of a burden or because lack of them offered very little guidance.

Some kids' parents aren't around at all. Some are in legal trouble. Some are dead. Some are abusive.

Some kids aren't cared for well. Others aren't loved at all.

So my desire over all these years to adopt has had something to do with my selfish desire to have a younger sibling, sure. But mostly because I've known for a long time that I have been loved in excess. Which makes little sense to me given all the kids out there loved too little.

One of my favorite things about my family is the amount of love that goes around. Imagine my delight, then, that we're widening the circle.

I really don't know what to expect. Other than a God-sized movement in the lives of the Smith family-- whomever that may include. It feels like it should be a monumental change and it probably will be. But it just doesn't feel like it right now. It still feels like a dream coming true-- something to mark off my wish list.

The reality of which might not hit me until a child aged 1-10 spends his or her days in our house for a year. Until there are church crafts taking over our fridge or hot chocolate stains on upper lips or tears shed or disney movies watched. Until sleep is lost or colds are had or x-boxes played. Our life with whatever child is, as of yet, unpredictable.

Probably the not knowing what to expect is substantially more nerve racking for my parents. But they know and trust that God will do His thing, the way He already has in this process. I pray for their health and their work and the logistics of this all.

Mostly, I pray for my new almost sibling (s?). Am I allowed to called them that? Relating them to a degree of sibling-hood? I'm not sure. But I intend to love him or her as if they are. For however long they are a part of our household. Sibling-like entity just didn't seem very endearing.

Angie Smith created this prayer pattern last November to pray over her girls.

1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)

2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)

3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)

4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)

5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)

6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)

7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)

I can't wait until I have a name to fill in the blanks. For now, God knows the name on the tip of my tongue.

To Him we aren't valiant or doing some big great thing, we're doing something He's asked of us. No fanfare there. Just peace.

I know emotions will be fragile-- foster kids come from shattered lives. I know this experience will not be the actualization of my childhood dreams for more siblings or of the passing thoughts I had as a teenager of spreading the love. But it is happening.

It doesn't mean the Smiths are great. It means God has got to come through in a great way.

If it's grace we're dishing out, then it's because of the grace we've been shown.

There are no strangers

There are no outcasts

There are no orphans of God

So many fallen, but hallelujah

There are no orphans of God

Come ye unwanted and find affection

Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head

Come ye unworthy, you are my brother

If such a thing as grace exists

Then grace was made for lives like this

(Avalon)

I am so thankful for that grace.

It makes it the most wonderful time of the year.

It's also making my Christmas wish come true.

(one last thing to point out: notice the shout out to Rosa Parks on my history widget... and you thought December 1st was a waste of a day!)