Not for Naught

I'm officially unpacked and settled in "my" room-- the one with the treadmill and stationary bike and mini-fridge and Dad's closet.

And a bunk bed.

But, sadly, there will be no Quasi-sibling to bunk with this Christmas (only a real one named Emily once she gets her self done with school!). Yesterday we found out that Mom and Dad's background checks are under a ginormous stack of unfinished paperwork downtown. If these were submitted in August and we still haven't gotten them back, then Luke and Steph's, which were filled out in November will be a while. Obviously, we can't have a little person up in here during that while.

All of this seems crazy since we thought we were on the fast track to foster care. Our super nice social worker Alice was rushing our home study so that we could have a child by Christmas. She wasn't allowed to even start a home study, technically, without the background checks being finished. So when she showed up and starting taking notes on our life and living situation, we just assumed everybody had been cleared. But now the home study is typed up and finished and there is no background clearance. This is frustrating because if there were anything on Mom and Dad's records, it would've affected their license to practice medicine. Luke became a police officer in July, which would not have happened without a thorough background check.

Speaking of Officer C. Luke Smith, he made one of the largest drug busts in Bryant's history Sunday morning. I know, I know, those of you not from around here are thinking that probably doesn't take much in a podunk little Arkansas town. That would have been a correct thought process back in the day when he made the biggest bust in Cammack Village, a city of maybe 4 square miles. But Bryant is a sizable city and sits on I-40-- a thoroughfare for moving drugs from Texas to Missouri. So no, this was not one of like four busts this year. Luke is just a really good cop.

http://www.todaysthv.com/video/default.aspx?bctid=57203500001

The kind who gets to be the worst part of a bad guys day. He confiscated more than 20 pounds of marijuana from this car basically because he has a good read on people (can you tell I'm proud?). According to his Captain, Luke was just "on top of his game." Somebody is seriously pissed that they don't have their estimated 30,000 dollar delivery. But such is life, Mr. Drug Dealer. Such is life.

And life, for us, goes on as normally as it does for the Smiths for now. I can't even say I'm not bummed that I wont get to meet our kid during this extended break when I could get to know said kid. After all, it was going to be my favorite Christmas present. But, as many of my friends reminded me when I sent the news out yesterday, this is all in God's timing. It has been from the beginning. Not just from the beginning of this process, but from the beginning of time itself. I can't compete with that. And I wouldn't want to. Even if it meant I could be making cookies with a 6 year old girl or singing a 6 month old to sleep or playing basketball with a 10 year old boy, I wouldn't really want my timing over God's.

So the hoping and the praying and filing and the interviewing and the shopping and the prepping has not been for naught. All of it is working towards a child getting a safe and loving home at some point. Until then, I continue to pray for whoever is coming our way, for whatever situation is happening now that will be sending him or her our way. That is not really something fun to think about, but it is certainly worth praying over. And, in the meantime, we can take the lock off of the attic door that leads to where I need to put my suitcases up. I am convinced the door is hiding Narnia the way they have upped the security around it. In reality, the lock is another measure that has not been for naught. Even the fire escape plan continues to serve a purpose.

And though I wont be getting what I thought would be my favorite present, the real gift for now is having the family and the means to host a kid in the first place. I'll soak up my time with them while I have this chance. And praise God for his timing.