Awed

...a little intimidated. But mostly awed.

It has been a week of work. Good, committed work.

The work that makes you feel anti-social because you have your headphones in, music turned up, door locked to give the most of yourself possible over to diligence. The kind of work that you really hope your friends aren't taking offense to because you really need to do your tasks well. The kind that makes you a little quiet, a little short, and makes you feel not quite yourself. The kind of work that is getting done. The kind you pray pays off.

It has been a week of play. Good, giggly play.

The kind of play that makes you feel drunk (I don't really know how that feels-- although I did have kahlua ice cream last night...). The kind that makes you feel bad that you aren't working hard, but you don't care because you love these friends more than you have time or energy to let them know. The kind of play you know you'll miss when all the work is finished (and it will be finished). Play that involves television and chinese food and cameras and potato rolls and sprained ankles and packing and helicopter laughs. The kind you wish you had more of but you know you have work to do. The kind you thank God for when it does come along.

Now I'm in Trinkle, studying french (ou, J'etudie francais) thinking towards another week of both of these things. Not really stressed. A little intimidated. But mostly awed.

Awed because I know how much I have to learn. Not just for this week, but about life. And it can be scary when I'm staring down a test. But it is awe-inspiring when I look around me. When I look at my bio notes on a developing embryo. When I read the words of scholars and have to interpret what they mean for my very own paper. When it's 80 degrees outside and green everywhere. When it's 60 degrees and there is a torrential downpour. When my friends sign a lease. When Nana makes this enormous and delicious oreo pie something or another that I get to share in great company and that I almost lose as per the laughter. When I end up unpacking memories as I stuff boxes to be put away for summer. When I realize how much stuff I have and how blessed I am merely in the physical sense, much less by all those things mastercard has yet to put a price on. Oh, I have some play to do this week. And boy do I have some work. But it is not to intimidate me. It is to awe.

I have so much to learn. He has so much to teach. And not just in this week. He doesn't want me stressed, He wants me focused. And when I do focus, I am awed.

You are beautiful beyond description

Too marvelous for words

Too wonderful of comprehension

Like nothing ever seen or heard

Who can grasp you infinite wisdom

Who can fathom the depth of your love

You are beautiful beyond description

Majesty enthroned above

And I stand, I stand in awe of you

I stand, I stand in awe of you

Holy God to whom all praise is due

I stand in awe of you.