Decisions...

This is Dina trying to decide what to get last night at Caribou. She chose the mountain mint. Or mint chip or mocha mint. Something mint. All I know is that it was 600 calories, because Dina felt it appropriate to look that up when we got back. This is fine. Her way of being healthy is to  count the calories-- more power to her. I'm finding that, for me, it has to be a conscious choice not to tediously manage my diet. 

The comments are all around me. Oh I shouldn't get a cookie I already had one today. I'm fat. It's how many calories? I can't say statements like this don't impact me because they do. But I also really dislike the fact that when I decide to get a light lunch or grapes instead of chips or not as much to eat if we go out it is automatically taken as I think I'm fat or poor or that I want some sort of attention. Even if out of concern, it is a topic of conversation and I don't like the attention. Because I am trying myself to make it not a big deal. It's not that I'm trying to not eat or don't have the money. It's that I'm trying to make these things not an issue at all.

So I have pizza. So I have a cookie. So I have a salad. My goal is to be healthy, and I don't think it's healthy for me to always be considering the calories or if I should eat as much since I haven't gone to the gym. Or what it will look like if I decide to not eat out. Or what people will think if I just get soup for lunch. I'm going to take the energy I could put into these questions and instead decide to consider only what is healthy for me. Not healthy like low-carb. Healthy like if I want a Chai Tea Latte to boost the spirits, what's wrong with that? Healthy like I am answering only to myself and the Creator of whatever beauty I possess. In this way I can be less defensive of my choices, less conscious of my weight, and fulfilled in knowing that I am blessed enough to control both. Not everyone has the option of what to eat, when to eat, how much to eat; much less access to a gym or a safe environment to walk around in. God, I thank you for these things and ask from you tonight the power to be a good steward of my resources. Let that be in the middle of my decision making in all areas of my life, not just my nutrition and exercise. You can do all things...

Then Job replied to the LORD:

I know that you can do all things;

no plan of yours can be thwarted.

You asked, 'who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?'

Surely I spoke of things I did not understand

things too wonderful for me to know.

-Job 42:1-3