We played this game of middle-schoolers tonight at dinner... well, second dinner. First we ate at 5 and then again at 9 because we had to get in some pizza on girl's night. It feels really good to have gotten in some work and some wack. So many things tonight ignited bottom-of-my-belly laughter, for which I thank God. But right now it's quiet in the room, I'm here reflecting and Dina has taken a bit of the happiness back. I was not aware we had a "no work" policy for the room while we watched dirty dancing and apparently my getting work done while the others enjoyed the movie threatened Dina. In her words I ruined the mood. She doesn't really mean it, she just needs something to harp on. And it's late and she's stressed, so I don't take it personally. But still, kind of a downer on what was otherwise a truly enjoyable night. I hate that I am the source of someone else's bad mood, however pitiful it may be.
I can't rest in that, though.
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My posts are getting increasingly interrupted these days! But pretty much in all good ways. Dina just came back in, we looked through facebook for a few minutes and things are back to the way things should be. Complete with a gym date for tomorrow morning. I am not going to lie though, I am jealous of the back massage Noelle is getting right now from Dina.
Back to my point.
It's fun to plan life. MASH is a good example. Here are 4 19 year olds writing out grandiose plans on paper placemats. Eating pizza. On a random friday night in November. Fun. Fictional. Finite.
It's all done in jest, I know. But as I sit here trying to think of something from my day worth writing about, I can't think of anything else other than that I am so glad that my future is in the hands of an infinite, all-powerful, all-knowing God (Deirge can say that in Spanish for you. I know because she read her vocab list to me on Wednesday night in preparation for her test... which I'm pretty sure she beasted). He's not counting by a miscellaneous number, crossing out options as he goes through lists of possible nouns. His vision for my life is much more vivid than a lousy stick figure drawing, and his narration much more eloquent.
The price I pay for trusting in his omnipotence, though, is being okay when I don't get the ferari or the mansion or even the marine for a husband. It's like the ultimate "oh-no" moment in MASH when someone gets the shack (as was my fortune tonight, no less). But God, I'll take it. And I trust you'll use it. And because I know you've got it all actually under control, I relish the time to naively map out my life on a disposable placemat. It's fun to joke about, laughable to think about but so so pointless to stress about.
Bring on the marriage to Jake the Marine with my 5 kids in my pickup truck on my vacation through Europe as a pediatrician who lives in a shack.
Or don't. Whatever you do, no matter my plea, don't ever ever take my word on what's best. I say that more for me than for you. Next time I think I've got it all figured out, I'll look back to my MASH as evidence that on my own my options are severely limited.
Ashley's, however, looks pretty promising. No reason to waste the resources on her-- she's got it down already. Married to Matt the preacher with a job in biochemical engineering with no kids, fresh off a D.C. honeymoon, cruising in her porsche. Put the approved stamp on that and keep movin' down the line.
I would recount Noelle's results, but she's talking to the Boy on the phone-- too distracted to worry with the fake future when she has her own for real prospect on the line.
But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
-James 3:17
I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that yo may know the hope to which he has called you,the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
-Ephesians 1:18
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